Boundaries and burn out
Boundaries and burn out.
I’m a giver.
I’m go, go, go all the time.
I’ve always been a “YES” person.
If you are a giver, you have to know when to say no.
If you are in the healing field or a field of service you have to know your limitations.
You have to know when not to take on more clients, more work, more activities.
Otherwise it will lead to burn out.
I’ve been here too many times where I’ve put other people’s needs before my own.
If you want to be in this field & do this work, you MUST put your needs first.
You can’t give from an empty cup.
You can’t facilitate or hold the space for others if you are not giving to yourself first.
So take time to meditate, read, stretch, go to a yoga class, go to the gym, go for a walk. Get out into nature. Take a trip.
If you don’t listen to yourself, your body will tell you & you will have no other choice but to rest.
So listen to your body. Honor your body, and know YOU come first!
Boundaries & People Pleasing
Former people pleaser here.
I never wanted anyone not to like me.
So I stayed small, didn’t speak my truths and put other’s needs before my own.
I never said I how felt for the fear people wouldn’t like what I had to say.
So I never said it.
For the fear of being disliked.
Things recently changed.
I started using my voice.
I started speaking my truths.
When you put up a boundary and it’s not respected, people will make you feel like you are the evil one.
When you people pleased for so long and put up a boundary, people won’t like you.
When you felt like you needed approval and validation your entire life and you put up a boundary, people will think you are the bad guy.
Boundaries are hard but boundaries will draw the right people closer as they will respect you more and they will draw the wrong people further away. 💕
When my family told me we were moving to Arizona from Connecticut in 2005 after I graduated high school when I was 18, I thought my life was over.
I had a boyfriend thought I was going to marry, my job at Starbucks which I thought was the best job ever, my Jeep Cherokee which I thought was the best car & I always thought that the east coast was the best coast.
I cried, I pleaded, I begged not to move.
I was on the verge of a mental breakdown.
I felt like it was an absolute death sentence.
I had to leave the life I ever knew and all of my friends.
I was in love with my boyfriend who was 7 years older yet he was an unstable bipolar alcoholic which I was completely blinded to.
Looking back at that time, I am SO THANKFUL things didn’t work out the way I wanted to.
I’ve now lived in Arizona for 16 years and I’m completely in love with life.
I have evolved and grown so much.
I have seen so much, been so much, learned so much.
The opportunities I’ve had would have never happened for me in that small town in Connecticut.
So just trust where you are.
The detours, the road blocks and the redirection is all leading you to where you need to be.
The Fear of Being Seen
The Fear of being seen.
I mean really being SEEN.
Not with your face filter, your best picture, your best public display, your best avatar and public persona.
I mean really being SEEN.
Because right now with social media all we are seeing is an illusion.
People’s best selves of whatever they want to create.
Why not be real?
Are you afraid people are going to judge you?
Are you afraid people are going to see the real you and realize you aren’t perfect?
What people want to see is authenticity, rawness, realness, humanness.
Get over the fear of being, seen, being judged.
I hope one day you finally don’t care what people think anymore and JUST be YOU!
He was at a gas station trying to make money in the 115 degree weather by washing people’s windshields.
He was not aggressive, he was kind, hard working, loving.
He was sweating. Exhausted. Trying.
At first I tried to ignore him, but when my gas pump didn’t work, I tried another one.
When that one didn’t work I went to another one.
By the time I went into the gas station to pay and come back, he was still there.
With his hands on his head, leaning his body against his car feeling defeated.
I tried to look away but I couldn’t.
I couldn’t look away and I couldn’t leave.
I thought maybe I have $20 I could give him and it would make his day.
I went into my wallet and all I had was a $100 bill.
I knew that bill didn’t belong to me.
I thought to myself how much this would change this mans life.
God/ source energy was channeling though me and told me this belonged to him.
Instead of just handing him the $100, I looked at him & said,
“I see you are working out here. You are really trying, it’s hot out here, God told me to give this to you”
He started crying tears and this man and I hugged.
He said this will help him stay at a hotel tonight.
I told him about unemployment, food stamps, food banks, churches & different ways he can get assistance.
I walked away feeling so incredibly high.
Whatever you give will come back 100x.
If you want to give him some love, he was at
3150 W Carefree Hwy. Phoenix AZ 85086
at the 4 sons CHEVRON
My strong resistance to dating.
“It should be easy”
I’ve been against any form of dating for the past year and a half since being single. I’ve been asked out on dates and it seems like too much work.
I tell people,
Let’s just be friends first because you don’t really know someone at first at all and it’s just lust.
I can’t be attracted to someone I don’t know.
Dating is weird.
Awkward conversations, wasted energy.
I’m busy, I don’t have time, it’s too much work.
I’ve been working on myself, I don’t want any distractions.
I don’t want to have to explain my whole life story or take any time or energy away from myself.
The truth is, the right relationship won’t.
According to Abraham Hicks, “It should be easy”
In her video Relationship Gridwork:
“The relationship I want is one of ease”
“It’s easy to feel good”
“It’s easy to feel at one”
“It’s easy to like what I see”
“It’s easy to move though my day”
“It’s easy to be who I am”
“It’s easy to do the work that I want to do”
“It’s easy to be two separate people with two separate intentions to many things”
“It’s easy to interact”
“It’s easy to be in a relationship like that”
The easiest way to find love is by continuing to do what you love, be open to receiving, don’t look for it, don’t try, let things organically evolve naturally. Let it feel good.
You can’t please everyone you just can’t.
In life, in family, in jobs, in friendships, in relationships.
All you can do is come from a state of pure love, a state of trust & a state of surrender.
All you can do is what you feel is right in your heart and in alignment and what is true for you.
Being a strong empath & feeler I’ve always felt the need to solve every problem, to take on everyone’s problems as my own, and to feel everyone’s emotions as if they were my own.
This is not healthy and can be emotionally draining!
This is a recipe for disaster!
Most people’s problems have nothing to do with you and are a source of their own inner conflict and unhealed wounds.
All you can do is share space, be patient, be kind, be loving.
No need to absorb or take it on.
No need to solve or fix anything.
Most people just want someone to vent to & is a projection of their own reality.
If someone is triggered it could stem from their own unhealed wounds coming to the surface.
If you are triggered, look within, as we are all reflections and mirrors.
One week off social media, how hard could that be?
When enrolled in a Yin/Restorative Yoga teacher training in Sedona, I was staying in a house tucked into nature away from any main roads or city life. The owner of the house was out of town & I was alone, away from roommates, family, friends, work, jobs, to-do-lists and distractions.
Every morning, I got up at 6am had some coffee, burned some sage grounded and centered for the day and then took the 20 min scenic drive into Sedona from the small town of Cottonwood I was staying in.
The first day of training, I entered the yoga studio surrounded by red rock mountains. Before the instructor introduced herself, she had us all go into a yin posture: Butterfly forward fold. I thought, what is this? The instructor isn’t going to introduce herself?
There was no talking, no introduction at this point, there was only a sense of calm. It was still, quiet, peaceful & relaxed.
I let go of any expectation or attachments.
The instructor then introduced herself and on the first day she introduced something called
She said that not everything has to be expressed or communicated and some things are more potent that way.
This was an abstract concept as I always want to feel validated, heard, and supported.
Every morning we practiced noble silence, had a yoga practice and then broke the silence.
As I drove back to the empty house in Cottonwood I felt, if I wanted peace, clarity and freedom from distractions, I thought to myself
“ I must delete all social media off my phone as that would break this peace and stillness and clarity I am feeling”
.........................and so I did.
For the first 2-3 days I was checking my phone, looking for something to stimulate me, excite me, trigger those dopamine hits, but as the days progressed, the the urge and temptation subsided and that is when..........
I really started to tap in within.
I didn’t need the external stimuli of validation and praise and for me I was retreating and in a state of rest.
I listened to music, read books, walked barefoot, burned incense, made tea, hiked, everything was a meditation~
What I realized was that my creative gifts flourished
I had more time to focus on my creative gifts and abilities without worrying what everyone else was doing.
I also slept better
My routine consisted of reading a book when I went to sleep and woke up without the need to check my phone or respond to everything. I was able to fall asleep easier and wake up earlier. There was a sense of calm, peace.
I became more present
I was able to self reflect without judgement, or criticism from others and their opinions. I was able to sit in silence.
I had more time
My days seemed longer and had more substance to them. I felt more fulfilled.
I was able to connect more with real people and have real more authentic & genuine interactions in person.
I met up with a friend, went for a hike and had a deep and meaningful connection.
I didn’t miss out on anything.
It’s been 6 days since I’ve been on social media and to be honest, I’m not in rush to get back on.
Being off social media, I don’t feel like I missed anything, and instead I was able to tap within.
My creative gifts flourished, I slept better, I became more present,
I gained time and was able to connect more with real people and have more authentic and genuine interactions.
So if you are thinking of taking a social media “retreat” I highly recommend it and to be honest, I will be doing it again very soon.
Owner and founder of Glowing Soul Yoga & Wellness and The Healing House Tempe.